Red Light
Yellow Light
Green Light
What are you in for when you look at a potential date? Instead of suggesting that Water, Space & Here, or that the Hot Blonde will answer all your dating problems, you need to know what you’re face to face with.
How do you KNOW the hot girl you’re looking at?
Bar game theory 201.
“I know you”
The RED LIGHT.
Stop right now, you don’t want to get into this with her.
She is the girl that comes readily equipped with “Oh, I know you, didn’t you date Amber, and then never call her again, after she invited you to her estranged cousin’s wedding?” and another lot of, “Do you want to buy me a drink? Like you bought Amber last night? Yeah, I think I’m okay.”
“Hassle”
The YELLOW LIGHT.
Slow down, you gotta figure it out for yourself.
She is the girl that comes with her whole family, confusing behavior about what she sees in you, and a lot of– “Oh you wanna dance? I was just about to dance with this other guy! But I can do you next.” and another lot of, “Do you want a drink? I can buy you one. But do you have money, to reverse pay me? My brother is over there, he was gonna do it, but he’s being a little bitch.”
“Naval Gaze”
The Green Light.
Go for it, she’s into you. However, she wants to talk about other stuff first.
She is the girl that needs to talk about herself, and her relationships, in conjunction with herself, like, “I’m sorry I just broke with my boyfriend, I think, because I wasn’t all he needed, how are you doing in the dating world?” and another lot of, “Do you want a drink? I do too.”
Bar game theory 201.
How do you KNOW the hot guy you’re looking at?
“Don’t”
the RED LIGHT.
Shut it down, you’re never gonna get it in anyway that matters.
He is the guy that doesn’t want you to talk to him, and a lot of, “Oh, hey, yeah?” as he walks over there. Or “You want a drink from me? I really don’t like you at all.”
“Why Not?”
the Green LIGHT.
Go for it, but just remember that he might not care about you.
He is the guy that wants a piece of whatever you’re putting down, and a lot of, “You’re kinda cute” as he puts your hair behind your ear. Or “Do you like jazz? I do. You don’t? Oh that’s cool too.”
“Volatile”
the Yellow LIGHT.
Slow your roll, he’s about to get handsy.
He is the guy that likes you a lot, and is currently considering dumping his broad & fighting your exes, with a lot of “Yeah, we cool?” as he downs half his drink, because he might get kicked out. Or he’s on the same vein, opposite end, with– “Hey sweetie, do you wanna get out of here and kick it back at my place?”
